This past week I got the chance to visit with one of my favorite kiddos in his home and it was an experience I will cherish forever. Jakson, Maynor, Samantha, Sarah, and myself got to sit and visit with one of the most loving families I have ever met. For the families safety I will not be providing names. For the sake of the story, we will call the mother “Martha” and her three children will be “James”, “John”, and “Mary.”
Martha is a single mother of four children, three of which live with her currently. We got a chance to talk with her and three of her children; James, John, and Mary. Martha’s oldest daughter is currently living in the United States. With her small business and James her oldest (only 14) working when he can, the family is able to get by pretty okay. The children go to school when they can and have all been attending our after school program for the past month and a half. It was a special time for Jakson and I visiting this family as James and John have been some of our stand out kids during our soccer ministry. During the first few weeks of ministry we learned that Johns mother had died when we was no more than three years old. There were no specifics given to us at the time and we didn’t press for them. Only was it during our two hour visit with Martha in her home did she share how John came to be her son. We had assumed that Johns father might also be deceased since he was living as Marthas child but that wasn’t the case. Martha explained that Johns mothers death was not an accident. Johns father was known to be quite abusive towards his wife. When she died, she died of ingesting poison. No one knows if it was on purpose of if Johns father had killed her. The sentiment around the town and held by Martha was that Johns father had purposefully killed her. John was taken from his home with no hesitation from the father and has been living with Martha, as his son, for the past four or so years.
Wow! Not at all the circumstances or situation I was expecting John to have come from. When you here about children with pasts like his they are often troubled and in trouble quite often. From what Martha has told us and what we have witnessed, John is an outstanding student in school and such a kind boy. My question I was asking myself during and after this conversation was how John turned out to be such an amazing and kind kid. The answer I’ve come to realize is the family that took him in as a brother and a son.
The relationship with John and James is one I have watched so closely since arriving in Sabaneta six weeks ago. It reminded me a lot like those relationships I have with my own brothers. They might pick on each other or get in physical altercations from time to time but that’s what brothers often do. Despite the bickering both boys were quick to defend each other from other kids or help each other up after one of the many soccer accidents. The pride they had for one another to juke out a defender or score a goal was an emotion I often feel watching all the incredible things my brothers are doing. The bond of brothers might seem simple to some on the outside looking in but with every cheer or embrace is an understanding that the two of you are blood. You are each others best friend despite everything that might get in your way. I am lucky with three built in best friends at home in my brothers but I didn’t choose to be brothers with any of them. It was forced on all four of us by who our parents were. This isn’t the case however for James and John. John was taken in as a toddler and James could have easily written him off, instead he claimed him as a brother. The picture began to fill in as to why John seemed so well adjusted despite his background, he has a big brother who has his back.
The next relationship I want to talk about is that between John and Mary. Both are described by Martha as energetic, friendly, funny, kind, and both easily make friends in school. They also are lucky enough to be in the same grade at school. I’ve never had a sister but looking into some of my friendships with brother/sister combos I imagine it provides for many sweet moments that aren’t often shared between solely brothers. Sisters add a sensitivity that is often lacking in a lot of young boys. I can see this in both children as they care for one another and the rest of their classmates. I also see it from both John and Mary when they are intentional with us as teachers. They often ask how we are and seem genuinely interested in our answers. The optimism and kindness that is expressed from Mary is often extended to all she meets. This is something I can see growing in John. There is also the added benefit that the two extend to one another as friends being in the same grade at school. The same classroom and same home has provided for a rich friendship and bon between siblings. Yet another piece of the puzzle as to why John has turned out to be such a good kid.
One of the most important relationships I observed was that of Martha and her children. She acted as both father and mother in a household were no fathers were ever present. To these kids she was protector and comforter. The authority and love she spoke into her children’s lives even in the small time we spent with her was beautiful. She fiercely loved her children all the same, even John who was not always her son. The way she spoke about her children moved my team and I as we spoke together. She was the perfect example of a mothers love. She didn’t love because she was required but because God had called her to love so well. This was the last piece of the puzzle when looking at John. This kind hearted, funny, energetic, fierce kid was made up of all the people that had decided to love him. Made up of those who had claimed him as their own stuck with him when others didn’t.
The story of this family reminds me a lot of the love Jesus carries for us. Its not conditional and nothing we can do can remove us from that love. This kind of love is what Jesus calls us to inside the church and inside our homes. An unconditional love that surpasses all understanding. This is quite a daunting task but one we shouldn’t fear. We will mess up and we will fall short in this love. Even inside of our own families we fall short of the fullness of the love Jesus wants for us, but its okay. We have an unwavering and perfect love in God. He picks up where we slack and makes us whole in Him.
Let me know how I can love on you during my time here on the race. I love you but most importantly God loves you and their is nothing you can do to lose that love.
Much Love and God Bless
Jaden
Well stated.