This week was not the easiest for me both physically and emotionally as I spent much of it in confusion, sickness, and sleep deprived. My week started with what I believe was food poisoning from something I had eaten Saturday. Due to this illness I spent all of Sunday and Monday in bed recovering and trying not to become the first person on our squad to have an illness induced accident. These two days were spent in bed and in the bathroom as I tried to give my body the maximum amount of rest needed to overcome a food borne illness. Monday night I decided that I would be appropriate and useful for ministry come Tuesday morning. Praise God that I woke up the next morning bright and early and feeling much better for a day of serving our kiddos and the Lord. Tuesday was a pretty typical day of ministry except for it also marked the arrival of our Ministry’s founder and leader. The day began in a lot of misunderstanding between ourselves and our ministry partners and this unfortunately carried over into our ministry as the day carried on. I, among with others, felt distracted from the children and the ministry. Holding onto certain things that were said or how they were said. I didn’t realize at the time but I was holding a certain bitterness and stubbornness in my heart. As I served the children I realized the misunderstanding between our two teams was something I was giving a lot of thought to.
We finished our typical day as we always do, a meal and talking about the next day. However, Wednesday was no typical day of ministry. Wednesday was our Dia Del Niños celebration. A time to have fun and celebrate children that are often overlooked here in Guatemala. This was going to be a very full and busy day, one that would take, at least in my mind, a tremendous amount of planning. This however is not the Guatemalan culture or way. Little planning for the day was done and nothing prepared. All we had was a time to get up so that we could leave earlier than we typically do. 6 a.m wake up call and my team and I were up and going. Preparing ourselves and our hearts for a full day of ministry. We knew we needed to leave at 8 a.m for proper preparation at our ministry sites so that we could begin our days festivities at 9 a.m. All we needed to do was follow directions for preparation and get in the truck. This is what we were lead to believe at least. A 6 a.m wake up call or us gringos meant a 7:30 a.m wake up call for the Guatemalans on our team. It meant a 8 a.m departure was actually 10 a.m and planning and preparation were done moments before we left and for an hour after arrival to our ministry sites. My American pride and punctuality were extremely injured as the entire day seemed strung together and rushed. While over 200 kids came out and had a whole lot of fun, I couldn’t help but think of how rushed and frustrated I was feeling. Unlike the day prior, my frustration was showing. I began to shut down and become bitter towards the entire situation. I closed off my heart and eyes to the great work God was doing and became self obsessed in the emotions I felt entitled to.
Through some self reflection and debrief following the day I realized what I had been doing. With all of my frustrations and unhappiness I had forgotten what it means to be joyful. To position my heart and myself towards God and live out what he has for me. I had decided I knew better and that left me miserable. Through the grace of God our team has been given a break from constant ministry and taken two hours west to Flores where I am writing this blog today. I just finished walking through a Bible study on patience and felt called to write this blog. To highlight what happens when we allow the frustrations and difficulties of life to overcome us and allow it to dictate how we act and speak. I’m ashamed of the way my heart felt during this past week through sickness and my frustrations. I pushed aside what God has planned for me and gifted me with and instead decided I knew best (I never know best.) As I’ve been given this time to rest and properly get in the word I was given a verse from God. Its one that convicted and inspired me to become better and who God has called us to be as followers. It was Titus 3:2 (Really all of Titus 3 speaks on this). Titus 3:3 – “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” This simple verse reminded me how our Lord acts with me when I am frustrating and uneasy to work with. He acts with nothing but love and grace. The two things he speaks of and acts on often. As followers of Christ its important we live out our lives in Grace and Love just as he does. It doesn’t matter the circumstances or situation because Jesus would’ve acted out of nothing but love and grace. We also have the extra assurance that God has a plan for everything. While we have the free will to act within Gods plan, it feels nice to know that He has it under control. Nothing is too rushed or unorganized for God to shine through it. As I look back over this past week that is so evident. Despite all of my negativity this past week God shone bright through my teammates and our One Way ministry partners. He shone bright in the children of Sabaneta and Vista Hermosa. He shines bright on me know as he has gifted me with rest and the ability to turn back towards Him and all He is doing.
Our God is so good and I’m so grateful for that reminder today!
PS: Our new blog site is needing some work. Until the site is up to snuff I will continue posting here. Hopefully we will be able to use the new site in a month or so. I will continue to post the new link in my blogs but the switch to the new site will not take place quite yet.
Much Love and God Bless
Jaden
Thank you for sharing! Our prayers continue! You are one amazing man!
Bless you, K&H
I admire your honesty and the way you point it all back to the one who knows your heart best. You said, “ Nothing is too rushed or unorganized for God to shine through it.” God uses all His people to shine the light of the Lord, even those who are more relaxed in their ministry. The result of it all is of course, love. It is so interesting to think of all this through a cultural lense!
I’m glad you are feeling better!
I’m sorry you had such a challenging week. It’s always a good thing to have a heart check. We all should do that more often. When things seem the most challenging, remember that is when GOD is working the hardest to refine and shape us to be the person he has intended us to be. God has great and mighty things for you Jaden. We are very proud of you. Love you !
Jaden! What a word! God has clearly walked with you through so much growth this past week! Love seeing how you have kept your heart moldable for everything God desires to grow in you!!
Jaden!! Thanks so much for writing this blog!! It’s so clear that the Lord is refining and pruning you, making you look more like Him each day, and that’s the whole point!! Love it!! I will be praying for you and your team in Peten! When I was struggling last week with perspective about ministry and was feeling discouraged, the Lord brought me to Philippians 2:14-16, and now I am praying it over you, too, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain”. The goal of sanctification is to grow up in maturity into the likeness of Christ as we dwell deeply in intimacy with him, to become like him and be holy as he is holy. I can clearly see Jesus in you and hope you are encouraged to know that your brothers and sisters in Christ are cheering you on! Love you and in your corner, KP.
Cmon man of God. I love this Jaden, so so good brother. Our efficient Western standard time definitely takes a backseat to the highly relational and I would almost say more Jesus style approach where we need to be fully present in the moment and trust God in what we’re doing and saying will be enough.
Your word study in patience sounded super cool also.
Want patience, will expect the adversity to increase :-). What good Holy Spirit new Wisdom and self-awareness and a fast turnaround on the frustration of those events during that most important day.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
??1 Corinthians? ?13:4-5, 7? ?ESV??
Really just feeling grateful to get an inside look into your thoughts and your heart. It’s so humbling walking with the Lord and it’s so refreshing getting an inside look into what it’s really like to follow Him. He’s so gracious to us and even in our childish impatience, He’s so gentle and caring in His response. How many days have I spent upset…..and for what?? Such a good reminder Jaden!
Jaden It sounds like a very stressful week for you but what shone through was how God is teaching you. It’s amazing how in our most difficult days it’s then we grow the most. Thank you for sharing keep trusting him and growing. Prayers for you and team!